


Addict

by panpass



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), mcyt
Genre: Angst, Burning of L'Mantree, Hurt/Comfort, Kind of Canon Compliant, Niki | Nihachu Needs a Hug, Niki | Nihachu-centric, Pyromania, Sapnap Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), again its only kind of, i love them, kind of, no beta we die like wilbur, set during the final battle of l'manberg, they need protected you can rip these traumatized teenagers from my cold dead hands, they're teenagers mourning their childhoods your honor, this is all platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:49:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29148483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panpass/pseuds/panpass
Summary: “It was never meant to be.”Despite her distance from the burning tree, the pale skinned nineteen-year-old could feel the blistering heat the smoldering flames provided. Her breath was caught in her throat, her hands trembling slightly where they rested by her sides. She’d dropped the flint and steel she’d used after she’d struck them originally, the spark quickly catching on the easily flammable bark of the old oak.She’d taken a few steps back after lighting it, her breath caught in her throat. Niki stifled the growing sob she could feel rising in the back of her throat, unable to tell if her watering eyes were due to grief or the smoke the wind sent in her direction.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Addict

“It was never meant to be.” 

Despite her distance from the burning tree, the pale skinned nineteen-year-old could feel the blistering heat the smoldering flames provided. Her breath was caught in her throat, her hands trembling slightly where they rested by her sides. She’d dropped the flint and steel she’d used after she’d struck them originally, the spark quickly catching on the easily flammable bark of the old oak. 

She’d taken a few steps back after lighting it, her breath caught in her throat. Niki stifled the growing sob she could feel rising in the back of her throat, unable to tell if her watering eyes were due to grief or the smoke the wind sent in her direction. 

What she did know, though, was that she felt  _ free _ . She felt untethered, a weight lifted off of her slim shoulders as the grand old oak burned, tongues of fire licking along its branches and coloring the bark black wherever it wavered. Niki found it a bit calming, truthfully, just staring at the flames. Despite how wild and randomly the flame’s seemed to move, twisting around the tree’s trunk, it was almost like there was a method to its madness. It’s movements seemed deliberate, and she found herself a bit entranced as she watched it. 

It left her distracted, her attention as snatched up as the shriveling leaves. The pinkette hardly noticed when someone stopped a few feet away, breathing heavily and covered head to toe in heavy, purple-tinted grey armor. In the corner of her mind, a somewhat subconscious thought, she knew he was probably just stopping to catch his breath; probably someone on Dream’s side - Punz or George (if he’d ever decided to wake up that morning). 

They made no move to leave, to leap back into the ongoing battle that had been raging around them only a minute ago. Right? Niki blinked. She could faintly hear yelling - Tommy and Techno arguing over the chunk error that had previously been L’manburg, but aside from that and a bit of TNT going off in the distance, it was quiet. 

Over the quieting sounds of the flames, she could still hear whoever it was beside her breathing, heavy, deep breaths that still didn’t seem to be enough for whoever it was. 

She glanced over, her curiosity helping her in pulling her gaze away from the burning remains of the L’mantree. Though decked out in armor, Niki recognized Sapnap beneath the helmet, the long, wet strands of black hair a dead giveaway. There was an axe in his half limp hand (she vaguely realized it was Techno’s, the ‘Axe of Peace’ as he’d called it - a hypocrite, considering what he used it for), and as he seemed to stare into the soul of the flames she noticed how lax he appeared. 

Whatever tension that he had been carrying as he’d battled earlier appeared to have melted away in the light of the fire. Niki found herself humming softly as she turned her attention back to the tree, the blaze beginning to die down as the sky darkened, a few droplets of water hitting her skin. The cold water seemed to burn her for a moment, and she almost recoiled, her gaze once again shifting from the fire to the war-torn land beyond it. So much had happened there, in L’manberg, and so much had been lost. They’d… they’d have just continued losing it, even if it didn’t end here. Dream? Techno? Phil?  _ Wilbur? _ They’d all made it apparent. 

L’manberg had died with Wilbur. It was just a husk, a shell now, a place where people built their homes to try and hold onto some semblance of a dead man’s dreams. Niki’s breathing hitched, a few tears managing to escape her watering eyes and slip down her cheeks, melding with the raindrops that trailed down her face, hair, and armor. Before she could really think about what she was doing, she raised an arm, saluting to the skeleton of the nation she’d once loved, the nation she’d lost so long ago. 

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed movement. Keeping her arm up, she looked back over to Sapnap, in time to see him look at her. Despite his much more guarded expression, Niki found emotion hidden in his gaze. Anger, determination… sadness… and understanding. The nineteen-year-old blinked, watching as Sapnap raised his own arm, the dark-haired teen mirroring her position, before he looked to the large mechanism above the crater.

Niki took a moment to follow his gaze. Despite the rain now falling in sheets around them and the darkness that was falling, she was able to spot the mask-wearing man from his position above, his green hoodie a dead giveaway even beneath his dark armor. 

_ Oh.  _

Niki hadn’t been here when everything had started - when L’manberg had been founded - but she’d known Wilbur, and she’d instantly fallen in love with the small nation. When he’d died, she’d felt something within her die. Her will, her love for the nation? It wasn’t the same, but then again it wasn’t meant to be. L’manberg was Wilbur’s dream, his symphony. How could it be finished, be complete, without him there to sing its praises and its sorrows? 

The pinkette couldn’t help, but to wonder… Sapnap’s loyalty had never strayed, no matter what. In a way, it almost reminded her of Tommy and Tubbo, though… less innocent. Maybe Dream was his Wilbur. 

She’d never known Dream before L’manberg, never known Sapnap - but she’d known Wilbur; and when Wilbur had lost his mind, grown to crave destruction and misery over the peace and otherworldly kindness she’d originally known him for - that she’d  _ learned _ from him, she’d felt a piece of her die then too. 

Her arm dropped after a moment, going limp at her side. Out of the corner of her eye she watched as Sapnap’s fell as well. 

The pair stood there: silent, watching as the fire in front of them slowly died; breathing the same air, letting weariness seep into their bones as they watched the world collapse around them. And, as they found themselves standing there, along the edge of the well-worn Prime Path, for the first time: they found themselves understanding one another. 

**Author's Note:**

> this got sadder than it was supposed to what the hell. 
> 
> anyway, i always see people talking about how niki lost the last bit of her childhood during war, while tommy and tubbo are still latching onto it for the last few years they can. like, despite everything they've gone through they're still seen as kids and they have people like sam helping them out and y'know, giving them opportunities to catch at least a little bit of that childhood innocence they lost. 
> 
> all these posts talk about how niki lost that to war, hows she's nineteen and she's no longer able to act like a child. she lost what remained of her childhood innocence to a war caused by those around her, that she just got dragged into. you know who had to deal with the same thing - with, y'know, added manipulation? sapnap. he's still nineteen too y'all. you can't come in here talking about how sad everything is for niki and then just forget that sapnap was thrown into war even earlier than she was. like, ahhhhhhhhh! i love them both, so much. you don't understand. 
> 
> anyway, i hope you liked this little drabble. its not my best, but it was an impulse thing so... yeah. here you go.
> 
> edit:: renamed this to be named after the song i was inspired by when writing this lol


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